Pearly Jones goes Platinum!!!

I can't believe it! First, I get an email from Simon Green at my web hosting company, saying that he absolutely loves my website, pearlyjones.co.uk

So much so, in fact, that I suspect he is sitting at his desk, stroking his screen lovingly and gazing at the rose pink background, as I write.

But now, the CEO of the company, Brooke Bryan, has thrown his hat into the ring too! When Simon told me he had passed my details on for consideration, in the unholy scramble for Platinum Status, I was delighted. But to actually be selected....? Well, that was beyond my wildest dreams!

So you can imagine how excited I am to now receive a personal email from Brooke telling me I am the chosen one!!!

He tells me "the decision this month has been really difficult". I can imagine, Brooke, I really can... What with Simon bombarding you with websites for consideration and the current economic downturn, and the coffee machine on the third floor being on the blink again.

It's a wonder the poor love makes it into work in the mornings.

But there's more...."The calibre of the top 50 websites is very high and I had to make my decision based on design, website layout, initiative, ease of use and most importantly for me your marketing potential and whether I feel you have what it takes to become an online success in a very tough time for the ecommerce industry."

I worry about the pair of them to be honest, I really do. Sitting there, in a damp, soulless basement office, desperately scouring the tens of thousands of websites they get a month, looking for that one gem.

I'm wondering if someone has slipped a little something into the office water cooler?

This would at least explain why they think a person with a blank homepage, admittedly in a lovely shade of pink, but not much else, has marketing potential. And why Brooke's decision was based on design, layout and initiative, amongst other attributes... three things, which sadly do not exist yet, on my newly hatched website.


I'm beginning to think that if he really can see all that, in my webpage (and let's call it that, as it is not even a site, yet), then perhaps he should be looking to reduce the levels of whatever medication he may be on.

He signs off with a cheery "I look forward to working with you closely in the future."

Absolutely, my dear, just as soon as you can provide a letter from your doctor confirming your hallucinations are under control. Tell you what... I'll call you.

But it's not all bad news. I do understand why my webpage got top marks for "ease of use".

It has one link. You can click it. It brings you here.